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Musings

Life can be hard
Life can feel hard
Feeling pulled into the void
Can’t get out

Feeling judged
Nightmares galore
I say I will stop
Take a break

Get pulled back in
What if my life was this?
What if I did this?
What will I be remembered as?

Dawson’s Creek
OITNB
Trying but not with Duolingo
Socializing and reaching out

I pull away for a second
I see the stormy clouds
They are beautiful
The wind blows strong

I touch the leaves
Smell the pine
See the birds
Breathe the pollen

I sometimes feel shame
Sometimes self compassion
Meditate
Don’t meditate

It’s a struggle
But then it’s not
A rollercoaster I’m on
A vision not lived out

My brain goes in so many directions
Any given moment is unknown
What will tomorrow bring
What will the next minute bring

This writing
It seems a good ending
A good purpose
But is it? Will it?

Even I don’t know.
What is my meaning?
I want things to change
But then I don’t, I accept how I am

Story of my life