Trigger Warning: Talk of Suicidal Thoughts
We are in the process of relocating our family. It’s something that we’ve thought about for a very long time and have wanted to do. I had been looking forward to this moment for forever now and have done so much research to prepare my mind. But the days or preparing, packing, and cleaning are about to end and we will be on our way to our new location. A place that has more opportunities for growth, more resources for mine and my family’s mental health, more fun things to do, a new scenic view, and much more. But these past few days have been pretty rough.
I have been grumpy and moody, stressed and tense. The other night I found myself up late on my computer and it hit me. Something that tends to happen when I don’t get enough sleep or stay up really late. It is suicidal thoughts. They seem to come from nowhere sometimes. Throughout the day I seem otherwise fine. I’m not sleeping a lot or showing any other symptoms (that I can tell) of depression. But if I lack sleep, it usually shows it’s ugly face. It takes over my brain and my thinking. It tried to really bring me down. There’s no logic in the thought process. Whatever I’m going through at this particular time in my life is not the end of the world. But at that very moment, my brain thinks it is.
But there comes a point where I recognize that those thoughts are only being caused by depression. And for me, not getting enough sleep triggers that depression and puts those thoughts in my head. At that moment of clarity, I tell myself to go to sleep. I make myself go to sleep. My body and brain are making it clear that I need to stop what I am doing and get the sleep that I need.
Remember, different things trigger depression. It’s important to continue to try to recognize what makes it worse or brings it on. Some things that has helped me figure out some of my triggers is:
- Research on how depression works and what typically can trigger it’s onset
- Talking with other people that also have depression for support and encouragement and to understand how it can affect other people
- Meditating regularly to begin to recognize how my body feels, both physically and emotionally (and mentally)
We have to begin and continue to take care of our bodies and any illnesses we may have, especially mental illness.